Wordishness

EXT. - Nazareth carpentry shop - day
- JESUS CHRIST is sanding a piece of wood.
- Elijah:
  
  Hey, Jesus. What's up?
- Jesus:
  
  Elijah! My man.
- They FISTBUMP.
- Elijah:
  
  Not much, you know. Hey, whatcha workin' on?
- Jesus:
  
  Chair.
- Elijah:
  
  Another one? What is this, like number six?
- Jesus:
  
  Eight.
- Elijah:
  
  Eight.
- Jesus attaches the wood to complete a RICKETY-LOOKING CHAIR. He gestures invitingly to it.
- Elijah:
  
  Oh, no. No thanks, Jesus. You made it; you should go fir-
- Jesus:
  
  Come on. This one's good. I know it.
- Elijah, resigned to what he must do, hikes up his robe slightly and sits gently in the chair. A beat. The chair collapses, sending PARTS and SPLINTERS everywhere.
- Jesus:
  
  Goddamn it.
- Elijah picks himself up and brushes of dust.
- Elijah:
  
  It's okay, man. Next one'll be great.
- Jesus:
  
  No, I'm done. That's it. I think I'm gonna try something else.
- Elijah:
  
  Like what?
- Jesus:
  
  Maybe go door-to-door with my Message.
- Elijah:
  
  What, like a Jehovah's Witness?
- Jesus:
  
  A what?
- Elijah:
  
  Nevermind.
- Jesus:
  
  Yeah, you know, just spread the word. 'Love thy neighbor' kind of thing.
- Elijah:
  
  Whatever you say. Where are you gonna start?
- Jesus:
  
  Maybe Judea. Head up there Monday, just after my birthday.
- Elijah:
  
  Well, be sure to get an early start. They're saying Christmas traffic's gonna be a bitch this year.
- EXEUT OMNES.
- FIN.