1. Possible final tweets for the resigning Pope

    • In nomine Patris et Filii et Peace Out, Bitches!
    • Who’s got two thumbs, a kick-ass hat, God as his Wingman, and is quitting work?
    • I’m taking the Popemobile with me.
    • I can no longer, in good conscience, associate myself with an organization that prohibits marriage equality and whose backwards views on women’s rights are insulting to humankind.
    • Budweiser Time, motherfuckers!