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- If you run out of toilet paper while sitting on the crapper, just wipe with the cardboard tube, or your socks.
- To clean up spilled sugar, buy thousands of ants and release them into your house.
- To conserve water, only flush your toilets on Friday. Or shit in your neighbor’s garden!
- Keep your oven on at 400 degrees all the time - never turn it off. That way, you don’t have to waste time pre-heating.
- Those pesky homicide bloodstains can be removed from carpeting and wallpaper with arson!