Wordishness


  1. You make my insides feel as mixed-up as Commander Sonak.
    Late 23rd-century romantic saying.
  2. BF BJ!

    BF BJ!

  3. Thoughts while using a public urinal.

    Thoughts while using a public urinal.

  4. I dunno.

    I dunno.

  5. Remember the classic 1950s sitcom Those Science Fellows?

    Remember the classic 1950s sitcom Those Science Fellows?

  6. Ed Sullivan in his natural form, in a rare 1964 photo.

    Ed Sullivan in his natural form, in a rare 1964 photo.

  7. Rap Battle at Dawn, or The Gentleman’s Rhyme Challenge, woodblock print, James “Slo-Down” McTiernan, circa 1837.

    Rap Battle at Dawn, or The Gentleman’s Rhyme Challenge, woodblock print, James “Slo-Down” McTiernan, circa 1837.

  8. The 27 year search for Waldo has ended. Authorities now believe the man, last seen in a huge crowd of people who looked and dressed remarkably similarly to Waldo himself, was murdered and is likely decomposing in a candy cane factory.

    The 27 year search for Waldo has ended. Authorities now believe the man, last seen in a huge crowd of people who looked and dressed remarkably similarly to Waldo himself, was murdered and is likely decomposing in a candy cane factory.

  9. This great movie combined two of my favorite things from the ’70s.

    This great movie combined two of my favorite things from the ’70s.

  10. EXT. - Nazareth carpentry shop - day

    • JESUS CHRIST is sanding a piece of wood.

    • Elijah:
      Hey, Jesus. What's up?

    • Jesus:
      Elijah! My man.

    • They FISTBUMP.

    • Elijah:
      Not much, you know. Hey, whatcha workin' on?

    • Jesus:
      Chair.

    • Elijah:
      Another one? What is this, like number six?

    • Jesus:
      Eight.

    • Elijah:
      Eight.

    • Jesus attaches the wood to complete a RICKETY-LOOKING CHAIR. He gestures invitingly to it.

    • Elijah:
      Oh, no. No thanks, Jesus. You made it; you should go fir-

    • Jesus:
      Come on. This one's good. I know it.

    • Elijah, resigned to what he must do, hikes up his robe slightly and sits gently in the chair. A beat. The chair collapses, sending PARTS and SPLINTERS everywhere.

    • Jesus:
      Goddamn it.

    • Elijah picks himself up and brushes of dust.

    • Elijah:
      It's okay, man. Next one'll be great.

    • Jesus:
      No, I'm done. That's it. I think I'm gonna try something else.

    • Elijah:
      Like what?

    • Jesus:
      Maybe go door-to-door with my Message.

    • Elijah:
      What, like a Jehovah's Witness?

    • Jesus:
      A what?

    • Elijah:
      Nevermind.

    • Jesus:
      Yeah, you know, just spread the word. 'Love thy neighbor' kind of thing.

    • Elijah:
      Whatever you say. Where are you gonna start?

    • Jesus:
      Maybe Judea. Head up there Monday, just after my birthday.

    • Elijah:
      Well, be sure to get an early start. They're saying Christmas traffic's gonna be a bitch this year.

    • EXEUT OMNES.

    • FIN.


  11. I hate Microsoft’s new ads.

    I hate Microsoft’s new ads.

  12. Sansa belt.