Wordishness

EXT. - Nazareth carpentry shop - day

• JESUS CHRIST is sanding a piece of wood.

  ---

• Elijah:
  Hey, Jesus. What's up?

  ---

• Jesus:
  Elijah! My man.

  ---

• They FISTBUMP.

  ---

• Elijah:
  Not much, you know. Hey, whatcha workin' on?

  ---

• Jesus:
  Chair.

  ---

• Elijah:
  Another one? What is this, like number six?

  ---

• Jesus:
  Eight.

  ---

• Elijah:
  Eight.

  ---

• Jesus attaches the wood to complete a RICKETY-LOOKING CHAIR. He gestures invitingly to it.

  ---

• Elijah:
  Oh, no. No thanks, Jesus. You made it; you should go fir-

  ---

• Jesus:
  Come on. This one's good. I know it.

  ---

• Elijah, resigned to what he must do, hikes up his robe slightly and sits gently in the chair. A beat. The chair collapses, sending PARTS and SPLINTERS everywhere.

  ---

• Jesus:
  Goddamn it.

  ---

• Elijah picks himself up and brushes of dust.

  ---

• Elijah:
  It's okay, man. Next one'll be great.

  ---

• Jesus:
  No, I'm done. That's it. I think I'm gonna try something else.

  ---

• Elijah:
  Like what?

  ---

• Jesus:
  Maybe go door-to-door with my Message.

  ---

• Elijah:
  What, like a Jehovah's Witness?

  ---

• Jesus:
  A what?

  ---

• Elijah:
  Nevermind.

  ---

• Jesus:
  Yeah, you know, just spread the word. 'Love thy neighbor' kind of thing.

  ---

• Elijah:
  Whatever you say. Where are you gonna start?

  ---

• Jesus:
  Maybe Judea. Head up there Monday, just after my birthday.

  ---

• Elijah:
  Well, be sure to get an early start. They're saying Christmas traffic's gonna be a bitch this year.

  ---

• EXEUT OMNES.

  ---

• FIN.

  ---

---